Here I am again, doing what I love, studying. I am still completely shell-shocked at the level of work involved and the level of intellectual ability I am surrounded by. All the usual feelings of inadequacy and panic are setting in.
It all happened so fast, the decision to return to college was made several months ago but Plan A fell apart so time for Plan B, which also fell apart but I was able to repair it at the last minute.
No time to plan or organise anything. It’s a substantial outlay on top of everything else and my already stretched, small income but I always find a way. Found a fabulous person so supervise my son so that’s out of the way.
My entire body and soul groaned when the words “reflective practice” were mentioned. My son has to do it at the end of each day at college and it formed part of previous course work which we both struggled with. I had to do it in my final year of my undergraduate and then for other studies I did which drove me bonkers. I also had to reflect upon learning when I completed a Fetac course. Personally, I found it extremely difficult, particularly in a public forum, such as a class room to talk about how I was feeling. However, it has helped me discover a love of writing and talking about my favourite subject – ME!
What on earth have I taken on? I have to finish “the book”, finish my TEFL online course, run my empire and fit in family commitments as well. Then again, everyone has 24 hours. Even Barack Obama and he found time to be President.
Public blogging is somewhat narcissistic but the only reason for doing this like this is that I am rarely far from a computer, I like blogging and it helps me catalogue and tag the work as I go along. It will also make it easier to submit this piece of work to my tutors et al.
Small problems have already raised their heads on campus, noone was able to connect to the wifi and without that, we cannot download specific software required but apparently the problem is being dealt with. I am hoping to be able to pop onto campus during the week with my laptop and have another stab at it. We shall see how it goes.
Took a tour of campus today with my son in the rain and I feel a bit more confident that I might not get lost every time I go there, just some of the time. I am surrounded by so many resources that it is somewhat overwhelming not knowing where to start but I cannot be the only person feeling like this and we all have our dragons to slay before our cornflakes.
I’m back to snoozing on the bus again, stress levels prevail and I had a string of early starts and late nights recently. Self inflicted so I give myself no sympathy.
It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day and I’m feeling good.